FUEL YOUR GROWTH AND EFFECTIVENESS THROUGH BECOMING A GREAT LISTENER
If your goal is to continue to grow and become better versions of yourself, there are few more powerful ways to do that than asking for feedback on how other people experience you. Additionally, there are also few things more intimidating than asking for feedback and trying to sit there and listen to it.
LISTENING IS HARD!
When trying to listen well in a difficult conversation, our natural tendency is to say things like:
"Let me explain myself."
"You just don't understand."
"You totally misunderstood me."
"That's not right."
"Well you did something even worse."
"Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're right. Let's move on."
These responses will only shut down the feedback and make sure that person knows it's not safe to share their perspective with you in the future.
This Self on the Shelf Guide will give you a basic script to help guide you through these valuable conversations in a way that keeps you curious and makes the other person feel safe to keep talking.
Use it when asking for feedback, but know that this tool will serve you well in a number of other situations. Disagreements with a coworker, conflict with a family member, de-escalating an argument with a teenager who just wants to be heard. This thing WORKS!